Please
by ravenbow
Summary: "It was a mix of relief and regret, joy and unattainable release from whatever horrible, constricting emotion had wound its way around the speaker's heart." - Joshua/Neku! Shounen ai. Angsty, hurt/comfort, romance. Rated T for cursing! ALL THE FLUFF!


**Title**: _Please._

**Author**: LovelessNightmare

**Series**: The World Ends with You

**Pairing**: Joshua/Neku, there's really no dominant role in this. It's equal! - Shounen ai, not yaoi. (Yet.)

**Genre**: Angst/Comfort/Romance

**Rating**: T for cursing?

**Author's** **Comment**: I apologize (not really), but I did it again. I wrote more angst. You know what this means; get five personal tissue boxes, throw the song _A Faint Light Grasped in the Hand_ from the Eternal Sonata official soundtrack (http: / www . youtube . com/watch?v =vwycTXDaI3M) on loop, and prepare a dark corner to future sob in for a good fifteen minutes straight, because I cried while writing this. Hard. The only advantage you could possibly give yourself is to hug a pillow so you have something to bite/scream into or a blanket to hide yourself in while you sob in case anyone walks in and sees you. They might just think your cries are the wind.

I promise, only the beginning is angsty and sad! It gets back to their silly bickering and snarky comments at each other!

* * *

><p>Neku gasped a shaky breath, staring at the drenched figure in front of him. He wasn't sure how he was still standing, or how he must have looked, trying to glare at his killer but feeling himself quake with fear instead. He wanted to yell, to scream or accuse, but he knew if he let one word pass his lips, his voice would fail; it would crack, show how vulnerable and damaged he'd been for the past two months.<p>

_Drip-drip. Drip._

Neku saw a smile, but the single violet eye he was able to see behind those silver locks showed nothing but agony and guilt. The soft light of Neku's lamp glowed against the pale skin of his intruder, the rain-soaked skin evidently shivering, weakly.

It was raining so loudly outside; the water was pounding against the roof of Neku's apartment complex and it was like TV static in the redhead's ears. He could barely hear the TV blaring downstairs, or his parents snoring in deep sleep in their bed. So much noise drowning his senses, much like his headphones did all those months ago, but once the boy across from him spoke, everything seemed to hush, just like that second week, just like when _he_ came into Neku's conscious life.

"_Ne_ku…"

It was a wonder how Neku even heard that call. It was a broken whisper, hardly audible to normal human ears. But the pain and desperation was as loud as a stereo system on full-blast, and it struck Neku's heart way more than he wanted it to. It was a mix of relief and regret, joy and unattainable release from whatever horrible, constricting emotion had wound its way around the speaker's heart. The tone could only be described as a choked sob from a hoarse throat; one that sounded like it had been torn and shredded with cries and terrible gasps for forgiveness and penance.

Neku just looked at the other boy with wide eyes. His lips were slightly parted with shock and his heart was racing. His shoulders were limp but his spine tense, and every bone in his body was struggling not to shake. If someone scanned his head right now, it'd either be blank-white or a frenzied static like the rain outside.

The proxy grit his teeth, his eyes finally breaking like shattered windows, tears pooling along the edges.

"_Joshua_…_!_"

His voice broke. It did. It sounded like a child who'd watched everyone leave from his life, left alone to sit and cry and beg for those people to come back to him. Except all of that was focused on one person, the one sole person that was standing in front of him. His brain was telling him to send Joshua away, the practical choice in the matter, to keep himself from being hurt more. But his body had moved on its own, even while thinking over how this could all end up horribly. Because for every plausible reason that Neku had to push Joshua away, the very thought of that name in his head hammered down Neku's doubt. The idea of seeing Joshua, hearing his voice, seeing that knowing smirk, hearing that infuriating chuckle, being annoyed until every fiber of his being burned with anger—it was all so _Joshua_ that Neku couldn't bear the thought of pushing it all away, of losing it all again. He had been hurt, but no amount of betrayal could ever compare to the hopeless void that Neku nearly physically felt inside himself from Joshua walking out of his life. Neku took in a shuddering breath as he looked over Joshua's figure, wet, cold, sad, lonely.

Joshua was still, his sad smile and gaze watching Neku as the redhead walked towards his ex-partner. Neku brought his hands up to clutch at the fabric of his shirt weakly, trying to hold together what the void was attempting to tear apart, just in case this was a dream again. Just in case Neku was having another nightmare, where he'd see Joshua standing in front of him, so real and so vivid, before sending his hope crashing back down to the Earth like the moons they'd summoned together in the Game, all but shredding his very being as Joshua would fade into that angelic light once more.

Neku's fear took over and his steps quickened, terrified that if he took too long that Joshua really would disappear. He walked right up to Joshua, practically knocking the other boy over with his force as he buried his face against Joshua's shoulder, clinging frantically to the loose dress shirt that Joshua had always worn.

'_He's real… He's __**here**__…_' Joshua's body really was soaked, and cold, and shivering from that or fear, Neku wasn't sure.

His nails dug into the fabric, and Neku's tears finally spilled over when he felt Joshua's trembling arms quickly snake around his lower back, holding him desperately. He felt that amazingly soft hair against his cheek and Joshua's frame shuddered with possible relief. Neku hit Joshua's chest with his fist.

"You… _bastard_!" Neku choked out furiously. He leaned closer and hit Joshua again.

"You _fucking_ bastard!" Joshua brought his arms higher, one hugging around Neku's shoulders, and Neku finally relaxed into his arms, sobbing angrily. He hid his face against Joshua's neck and reached around to grip at his back, like he was holding on for dear life. He shuddered out his breath when he felt fingers rake gentle through his hair.

"You fucking asshole! I can't… _believe_ you would just… " Neku trailed off again, his quiet crying taking over his breathing again.

Joshua frowned, his heart ached, and he could think to do nothing but hold Neku closer. Hold the boy he cherished most to make up for all the time he'd kept himself away, all the time he'd thought he was unwanted and hated by the one he cared most for. He bit back the tears, feeling that familiar tightness in his throat appear again, and did all he could not to squeeze Neku until it hurt.

His voice was a despairing whisper, "_Neku_…! I'm sorry… I'm _sorry_…. I'm _so_ sorry…" Joshua let out a sigh, a rush of breath from his body.

"I didn't… I didn't think you wanted me to…" his heart tensed when he felt Neku pull back from his grip. Fear ghosted Joshua's exhausted eyes, terrified of Neku's rejection.

'_No… please…_'

"You didn't think I _what_, Josh? You thought that I didn't want to think about you or talk to you or find out what the _fuck_ happened? Why you _used_ me? You didn't think I wanted to _see_ you?"

Joshua was silent as he looked at Neku behind his bangs. He could feel the guilt beat through every vein in his body with every accusation and he braced himself, waiting for the slap, the punch, the physical price that he seriously deserved after everything he'd done.

But Neku only stepped closer, his angry expression conflicting with his sorrowful eyes, and reached his hands up to either side of Joshua's face, losing his fingers in the wet hair to hold him carefully. Neku looked right into the violet gaze that scanned Neku's gray-blue eyes, trying to read them and failing, his doubt and fear getting in the way of the emotions Neku was trying to convey to him.

"You really thought… I'd be better off without you? You thought I was okay with seeing my friend sacrifice himself to protect me and then realizing that I was all part of an actual game, and not getting a word in return once I found out the truth? You just… left me hanging…"

Neku leaned closer, trying— searching deeper in Joshua. More tears fell from his eyes when he saw all of the regret and insecurity in Joshua's expression. The silverette's voice was unsure when he spoke again,

"I just… I had been so horrible… I thought you'd be better off… never seeing…"

Neku hissed in frustration, almost blending in with the rain outside. He brought his hands back down to grasp Joshua's shirt and he pushed the other boy away from him, making Joshua fall back onto Neku's bed.

"Wha—N-Neku?" he fell to the soft bed, barely saving his head from a good knocking against the headboard. While Joshua took his time to recover, Neku swiftly walked over to the window, firmly shut it, and stomped back over to glare down at Joshua.

"Y'know! You have _some_ fucking nerve!" Neku leaned closer, making Joshua shift back onto his elbows so he could attempt to distance himself from Neku. But the redhead just moved Joshua's legs apart and crawled on top of him, successfully pinning the pale boy to the bed.

"You think you're so _damn_ good just because you're the Composer! But you know what, you're snarky, and rude, and a bastard to deal with. You drive me up the fucking wall, and you never get out of my head! I can't get a moment's peace from you even when you try to stay away from me. I have nightmares about you, I hear your voice and that unnerving giggle of yours, and I'm pretty fucking sure I should be filed as a mental case from all of the things I think I see and hear!"

Joshua stared up in awe at Neku's outburst, feeling a tear fall against his cheek. Neku let all of his emotions and anger pour out of him, finally getting out everything he'd wanted to say all this time. He was completely frozen to his spot, watching in fear as Neku leaned down onto his elbows, expecting a fierce glare right in his eyes, but instead feeling Neku kiss him full on the lips.

Joshua blinked, unsure of what was happening, before giving in and closing his eyes, only returning a light pressure back against Neku's kiss. When the redhead pulled away, Joshua saw a light blush had danced across his cheeks and his glower had softened considerably.

"… And it's your entire damned fault."

The Composer looked up at his proxy, shocked, stunned, and… speechless. He really couldn't think of anything to say. He settled for something simple and genuine,

"N-Neku…"

Neku shifted, fixing his weight so that he was lying right against Joshua. He swallowed nervously, and forced himself to keep eye contact.

"Not one day has gone by where I haven't thought of you. I see you everywhere; everything reminds me of you…. I've had countless nightmares where I…" Neku's voice broke off.

Neku leaned his head down to hide his face against Joshua's neck again, "I-I… w-where I lose you over… and _over_ again…"

Joshua felt Neku's body tremble, and a soft sob reached his ears again as those frightened hands clung to him once more. He reached to hug Neku again, this time with more confidence, and was rewarded when Neku hugged him right back, relaxing every ounce of weight against Josh's frame.

"Neku…" He brushed his cheek against Neku's red hair, feeling his heart practically split when Neku clung tighter.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm here now… I won't abandon you." He pressed a light kiss to Neku's forehead. His proxy's crying quieted, letting out a few sniffles before he buried closer against Joshua's neck, hiding from everything else. Joshua held him there for some time, mindlessly drawing shapes along Neku's back to comfort him. It wasn't until Neku had stopped crying altogether, his eyes feeling sore and probably very red, before he spoke up again in a quiet voice,

"Stay with me."

Joshua was slightly surprised at Neku's words. His statement wasn't so much a demand, nor a suggestion, but not solely a request either. It was a mix of the three. The redhead hugged back tightly when he felt Joshua secure his arms more around Neku, and the Composer leaned his cheek against the orange locks.

"Okay," Joshua responded softly. He meant it. If Neku wanted him to stay, who was he to argue? He'd been watching over the boy this whole time, and he had missed him terribly after bonding with him that whole week. He missed Neku. He really loved him, too.

"Really?" Neku moved so he could see Joshua's eyes, searching for any hint of honesty.

"You don't know how much I want to fulfill your request," Joshua confessed genuinely.

Neku still looked skeptical, albeit half-heartedly, "Can I trust you if you say you'll be here when I wake up?"

Joshua half-answered by kicking his shoes off and pushing them off the bed. He looked at Neku though, and gave a small smile, "But you can't blame me if your parents walk in and I disappear for a few minutes. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate seeing you sleeping with someone they've never seen before."

Neku couldn't help but smile, rolling his eyes slightly. "Fine. But that's the _only_ reason I'll allow. You have to promise you'll return once they leave the room."

Joshua reached a hand up to cross his heart. Neku's smile grew more and he hit Joshua lightly.

"What're you, five?"

Joshua let out that soft, characteristic chuckle, making Neku absolutely melt.

"Maybe. I guess you're in love with a five-year-old. Some standards you have, _pedophile_."

Neku pretended to glare, "… Why do I want you around again?"

It was Joshua's turn to smile, "Because I'm just _oh-so-loveable_?"

"Yeah, I _guess_. You're lucky I'm willing to deal with you. You probably won't find anyone else who can."

Joshua felt Neku pull away from him to stand and move to the other side of the room.

"Ahh, my poor ego. I guess I don't have a very big sea to fish from, then?"

Neku threw a pair of flannel pants and a white t-shirt at Joshua, "Shut up and change. I don't want you soaking my bed."

Joshua mumbled thanks while eyeing the clothes, "… I have to wear _this_?"

Neku looked at him with an, 'are you serious?' face.

"You're going to sleep, not out in public. I'm the only one who's gonna see you, anyway."

Joshua stood and unbuttoned his shirt, and then stopped, a smirk gracing his lips.

"… Wanna help me undress?"

Neku flinched, blushing severely, "WH-WHAT? N—… N-No! You're not a kid! D-Dress _yourself_… idiot…" Neku turned towards his dresser with his set of pajamas and went to lift his shirt, when all of a sudden he felt two foreign hands at his hips, sliding slowly and raising the fabric of his black and blue shirt up.

"Hmm, how about I help _you_, instead?" Joshua purred against Neku's ear. He significantly raised Neku's shirt in the midst of the redhead's incoherent sputtering, pressing his exposed chest up against Neku's back. Neku hissed as he tried to arch his back away from Joshua, but failed as the dresser was right in front of him.

"J-JOSH! … C-Cut it ou—… o-out…" Neku let out a soft breath when he felt Joshua easily slip his shirt off over his head, and wrapped his thin arms around Neku's upper torso, hugging him from behind. The proxy blushed deeply when he felt the silverette leave a soft kiss on his left shoulder. Joshua lingered for a moment longer, before letting out a chuckle at Neku's reaction. He gently trailed his hands down and off of Neku to turn back to the bed and finish undressing.

But he felt a tug at his arm guide him to turn back around, his smirk being met with those surprisingly soft lips. Arms reached up to hug around his neck and fingers tangled in his damp hair. He returned the hug happily, bringing Neku close against him, where he should be.

He lightly pushed Neku back so they were using the dresser for support. When Neku felt Joshua press against him, the contact of their bare skin felt so nice, and— satisfied— he let out a quiet moan into their kiss. They didn't deepen the kiss, but they shared multiple, just relishing in the feeling of the other's lips against their own. When they pulled away, their breaths mixed as soft pants and they looked into each other's eyes dreamily, though Neku's blush was much more prominent than Joshua's.

"Heehee… You're cute when you blush, Neku…"

Neku averted his eyes, becoming very aware of just how hot his face felt, and he half-heartedly pushed Joshua away.

"Shut up… Go get dressed already, jerk…"

Joshua sighed with a smile, "Suit yourself," and sauntered back over to the bed. Neku watched him briefly before tearing his eyes away to change his pants. He froze when he heard Joshua unzip his pants and shivered as he imagined along with what he heard, the sliding of the fabric down the Composer's legs and dropping to the floor. He shook his head and hastily got dressed before Joshua had another chance to ravish him again.

Neku finished getting dressed and went to the bathroom attached to his room to grab a towel. When he walked back out, Joshua was still shirtless, and Neku got lost examining the definition of the other boy's body and the perfect pale skin that usually lay hidden. The redhead didn't notice the other turn around to sit on the bed before going to put the offered t-shirt on. Of course, Joshua noticed Neku's stare. He smirked and rested back on his hands,

"See something you like?"

Neku blinked out of his trance, blushing hard before walking over and throwing the towel over Joshua's head.

"Nope," he lied smoothly and began towel-drying Joshua's wet head. He heard a muffled version of Joshua's laugh before some silence, which was broken by Joshua's hum of approval.

"Mmmmm…."

Neku continued, turning his chore into more of a head massage when he felt Joshua rest his forehead against Neku's abdomen.

'… _It almost sounds like he's purring._'

Neku continued for another minute, making sure to dry every part of Joshua's head, and then paused.

"…. Josh?"

Joshua raised his head, Neku still holding the towel in a way that looked like a hood,

"Hmm?"

"…" Neku just looked at him. And then he reached down, kissing Joshua lightly on the lips. Joshua stayed still, and closed his eyes. He smiled when Neku pulled away and took the towel with him, disappearing into the bathroom once more. Joshua looked around Neku's room, catching his image in the huge mirror across from him. He stepped over quickly, looked at his hair, and grabbed Neku's brush, running it through his silvery locks to return them to their rightful, wavy places. He smirked with approval and sat back down on the bed with a few seconds to spare before Neku walked back out.

"Shall we get to bed, _dear_?" Joshua purred. Neku went around to the other side of the bed by his nightstand, and threw the covers back, crawling under them. He looked at Joshua, who waited for Neku's permission.

"…Well? You promised you would stay," he patted the spot next to him once and gave a small smile, "Get over here."

Joshua could _not_ help but give a genuinely happy smile. This was actually happening. Neku truly wanted him here. He finally threw the t-shirt on and, while he scooted under the covers closer to Neku, his proxy turned the nightstand light off. When Neku turned back to face Joshua he hadn't expected him to be so close already, and he jumped a little when his hand unintentionally rested against Joshua's chest. He sighed though, relieved and, dare he say happy, to feel Joshua so close to him again. He didn't even try to will away the pleased blush he felt sweep over his cheeks.

"Remember. You promised you'd be here in the morning!" Neku reminded him.

Joshua pretended to sigh, "Yes, yes, I promised."

"I mean it, Josh. I really won't ever forgive you if you aren't here in the morning!" Neku tried to sound playful with his threat, but he felt Joshua's arms hug snuggly around him, pulling him close.

"I promise… I really do."

Neku looked up at Joshua in the darkness and cuddled closer, hugging around his back securely.

"… Okay. I believe you." He paused, taking a slow, deep breath, and let it out, finally relaxing.

''Good night…" One more cuddle closer and Neku drifted to sleep. Joshua smiled fondly, growing tired himself, and yawned quietly before pulling the blanket up to cover Neku more and pressing his lips to Neku's hair.

"Good night, Neku…"


End file.
